Wednesday, 27 February 2013

February 27, 2012

It's here.  It's his day.

Yesterday was hard, the build up of a full year gone by without him.  I can no longer say, "last year, at this time, he was alive". 

A year ago today he was born, but already gone in the wee hours of the night. 

Last night, when I came home from work, Daniel I quietly sat on the couch and cried.  We watched the snow fall, and cried. 

The snow is still falling today. 

We have no plans to be anywhere, see anyone, or do anything.  We will be together and we will miss our son.  Like everyday...but today especially as we know this is the day that forever changed our lives.

I am honoured to say he is my son.  I feel privileged I was able to carry him for 9 months, and give birth to his beautiful body.  I wouldn't change a thing about him.  I just wish he could have lived.  I ache for him to be here.  Today.  Every day.

 
Today is his birthday.  It is so terribly hard to know this, and not have him here.

We are in love with him still.  Always and Forever.
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12 comments:

  1. Florine27 February 2013 at 13:46

    Thinking of you and Daniel and Alexander today. Sending you love and peace on his birthday.

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  2. kaela27 February 2013 at 14:39

    Thinking of your son today. Today is two years since my son, Jeremy, was born. He died February 25, 2011. I am with you--I feel so privileged to have had the time I had with him, and love him endlessly, but wish so much that he was here with us. Take care.

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  3. Anonymous27 February 2013 at 16:00

    I wish things were so different for you guys today. Sending you many loving thoughts and remembering and missing Alexander with you.

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  4. March is for daffodils27 February 2013 at 16:35

    I am thinking of you and Alexander and Daniel today. One year. So unfathomable. Sending lots of love.

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  5. Pieces of Me27 February 2013 at 17:14

    Well said Veronica. Grateful for the time together, grieving for all the future.

    Thinking of you and your family today, Alexander's day.

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  6. Mama Bear27 February 2013 at 19:04

    Happy birthday sweet baby Alexander. You are loved and missed and remembered. Hugs to your loving parents on this special day that should be so so different.

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  7. Brooke27 February 2013 at 21:25

    Thinking of you and your sweet Alexander. I'm sorry today is not the kind of day it should be. Your love for Alexander is so vivid in your words--I don't know quite what I believe, but I do believe he feels that. xoxoxo

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  8. Lj8227 February 2013 at 23:07

    Happy birthday Alexander. I'm sorry today isn't different and that you don't have a chubby one year old to smash a cake. Thinking of you guys and all that should have been.

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  9. Groves28 February 2013 at 06:44

    I wouldn't change a thing about him. I just wish he could have lived.

    *****

    xoxo Alexander xoxo

    Aching heart for you, for him,

    CiM

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  10. Amelia28 February 2013 at 17:36

    Sending light and love to you.

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  11. Suzanne28 February 2013 at 20:11

    Oh, Alexander. Happy birthday, little one. You are so loved and so missed. The whole world is so much less than it could be or should be because you are not here today. Oh, mama, this day unbearably difficult. I'm breathing with you.

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  12. Di2 March 2013 at 02:33

    Much love and thoughts to you, your family and sweet Alexander. xx Di

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