There is indeed a baby in there. And, I'm told it's growing just fine... a smidgen ahead of schedule at that.
I will write more about that another day. It's been a tough week.
A lot of emotions I don't quite know how to talk about.
I am still hesitant to talk too openly about this pregnancy - in real life too...some people still don't know - as I feel no promise. As affirming as that image was supposed to be on that screen, I still don't believe it.
But, that is for another day...
When we got home on Tuesday, there was a package in our mailbox. I had ordered this over a month ago... and it arrived on that day.
His name. His birth stone.
I still miss him.
I still need him just as much as I did in those days when he was alive. I still ache for him just as I did when I first came home, with empty arms, physically in pain from his absence.
He is not in my belly, somehow gestating again.
He was not in the mailbox, somehow attached to this necklace.
He is gone. Forever.
It still floors me.